Communicate Openly

• Set aside one-on-one time each week to check in. Go for a walk together or grab a coffee to create a relaxed space for chatting.
• Ask open-ended questions to understand their perspective e.g. "How are you feeling about the move?" rather than closed questions.
• Validate their feelings by reflecting back what you hear e.g. "I understand you feel nervous about changing schools again".
• Don't take moodiness or silence personally. Teens may have difficulty articulating their emotions.
• Reassure them you are there to talk about anything, big or small.
• Initiate conversations about neutral topics to keep communication flowing. Comment on a TV show you both watch or ask their opinion about something in the news.
• Avoid lecturing or criticising as this can cause teens to shut down. It’s better to listen first, and then have a two-way discussion.
• If they open up about a difficult topic like bullying, relationships or mental health, thank them for their trust before offering guidance.
  
  

Provide Stability and Security

• Keep household rules and expectations the same, like curfews, chores and family meal times. The structure is reassuring.
• Stick to regular one-on-one time and activities you enjoy together, whether it's cooking dinner or watching a TV show. Maintaining traditions provides comfort.
• If they are changing schools, drive or walk the route together so it becomes familiar. Meet any new teachers beforehand so they have a friendly face.
• Help them stay connected with friends by allowing visits, sleepovers, and driving to social events. Friends are lifelines during transition.
• Enable them to pursue interests like sports teams, bands, or faith-based youth groups. These give a sense of belonging.
• Involve them in new community service activities like volunteering at an animal shelter. This widens their social connections.
  
  

Empower Their Independence

• Involve them in decisions like decorating their bedroom, meal planning and scheduling extracurriculars. Give them ownership.
• Teach life skills like managing money, cooking, laundry and minor vehicle repairs. Praise their efforts.
• Allow them to select their own clothing style and personal care products. Letting them control their appearance boosts self-esteem.
• Encourage interests and hobbies they enjoy pursuing independently. Support their growing passions.
• Set reasonable expectations for part-time jobs, dating relationships and earning a driver's licence. Collaborate on guidelines.
• Guide them through important decisions while letting them take the lead e.g. touring colleges. Shift to an advising role.
• Acknowledge All Their Emotions
• Teens often feel a rollercoaster of emotions: excitement, grief, anxiety, anger. Validating this range helps avoid misunderstandings.
• Empathise with sadness about leaving friends behind or frustration over disrupted plans. Say "I know this is really hard..."
• Allow them space to process upsetting emotions, while setting expectations for respect. Say "It's understandable you feel upset. Please don't take it out on your sister."
• Share times you felt angry or anxious about big life changes too. Your experiences normalize their feelings.
• Distract them from worrying by watching a funny movie or going hiking. Shift their focus to the present.
• Identify their strengths that will help them cope, like creativity or a good sense of humour. Reinforce resilience.
• Remind them intense feelings are usually temporary. Offer hope things will feel easier with time.
  
  

Lean on Your Support Network

• Share your experience with other foster carers or adoptive parents who understand the ups and downs. Their empathy is invaluable.
• Check in regularly with the teen's social worker, therapists or teachers for guidance. Get professional perspectives.
• Give yourself time for self-care whether it's exercise, meditation, massage or coffee with friends. You can't help others when running on empty.
• Some foster care agencies like Fostering People offer additional support. This can be well worth taking advantage of.
• Seek counselling yourself if you're experiencing burnout, or anxiety or need help setting boundaries. Your mental health matters.
• Accept help from friends and family with meals, rides and other tangible support. Saying yes to help prevents isolation.
  
  

Additional Things You Can Do

• Frame school transcripts, awards and other mementos from their past to display in their new bedroom. Surrounding them with achievements can inspire confidence.
• Introduce them to mentors like coaches, youth group leaders or favourite teachers who can become additional trusted adults providing support and guidance.
• Explore if therapists or counsellors from their previous community can continue sessions via videoconferencing during the transition period. Maintaining continuity of care is optimal.
• Reassure them you'll be by their side every step of the way. Remind them of the progress they've made during past changes and transitions. Their inner strength sees them through.